It’s been just over a month since our darling Beatrix Rhodes’ arrival and we are so in love. She took her time, keeping cozy an extra five days before greeting us an uncharacteristically chilly Easter Sunday: April 1st, 2018 – poised from birth for a healthy sense of humor, no doubt, considering the lifetime of April Foolery she’s bound to endure.
From the moment they placed her on my chest and her tiny cries filled the hospital room, I loved her fiercely. Still those first few weeks my heart lived outside my body, simultaneously ready to burst from overwhelming joy and crumble from exhaustion, despair, and the deepest anxiety I've known to date.
But in all the ways I was tentative and unsure of myself, weepy and overrun by hormones and fear of failure, Luke was solid and everything our new family needed. Seeing him so seamlessly transition into Fatherhood has been one of the greatest joys of my life.
And though a bit harrowing at first (it was all so new, and the stakes so high!), one month out I’m pleasantly surprised to find a shaky confidence has settled in. I’m doing it! I’m a Mom!
We are finding our rhythm, she and I, the dance of two partners made for each other.
In fact, as I write this my sweet girl sits snug in my baby wrap, her tiny body nestled against mine, the calm of sweet shallow breaths, in then out, melodically filling the air, the top of her head, perfectly positioned for my lips to meet with repeated kisses.
And in this moment I think we’re both exactly where we want to be.